Achieving a Balance — Is Less Really More?
In today’s world, we seemed to be pulled in many directions. The demands of family, work, community life, time for self, and other activities all vie for our time. And when we have kids, those family obligations only increase. Or if we are in graduate school, trying to balance school, work, homework, and an occasional night out. Plus it seems like everywhere we turn there are people clamoring for you to do this or that.
So, how can we possibly achieve balance in such a fast-paced world where so much is no expected of us? The answers aren’t simple, and neither is making the changes that are required to achieve more balance in life.
Advertisers bombard us at every turn with messages of time saving devices, and we read in magazines about tricks that will help us run our lives more efficiently. But the gadgets advertisers sell often only add to the cacophony, not slow it. And often time following tips to make life more efficient just leads to using the extra time to frantically try to do something else. The truth is that our society has become so busy that balance is not really sought. We are expected to run here and there, ashamed if we have a few minutes of idle time, and balance, which is crucial for our mental and emotional selves, is often overlooked.
Family, work, community life, and time out for oneself are all noble goals. They are all important parts of our mental and emotional lives, helping us stay connected and offering fulfillment. Unfortunately what happens is that maybe one thing begins to swallow the other things. Or, even more likely, we run around constantly harried and unhappy, seeking balance, but unable to achieve it because we think that balance means appropriating equal time to everything we are doing.
True balance, however, involves prioritization. It is not about devoting equal time; finding balance about achieving equanimity in your private life, feeling good about what you are doing without feeling constantly rushed. This means that sometimes you have to cut back. You may have to say no to being on a committee or two. You can still be involved, but not as heavily. Sometimes it means telling your kids that they can only do two extracurricular activities instead of four or five. Most kids do not want to feel any more rushed than you do, and assuming that it is necessary for them to participate in four different activities outside school can mess up their sense of balance.
